5 lessons I’ve learned from failing

Jan 29, 2024

Failing isn’t something that I’m particularly good at, I understand how shocking that sounds but bear with me. Growing up I didn’t put myself in positions to fail.

Everything I tried to do, I knew I could do it. I hated the feeling of rejection, so I coasted by. However, I hated the feeling of being a pussy more, so after I graduated university and decided to go after what I’ve always wanted.

I’m trying to work for myself. I’m trying to start businesses that will not only give me financial freedom, but also life freedom. With that end goal in mind coupled with the undying need to overcome something difficult I put myself in position to fail, and oh boy have I.

I have seen little to no success when looking externally at results. I left my first company because it wasn’t ever my company, and it also became something that my heart wasn’t set on. My second company is me, myself and I. Alone, everyday with just a laptop and a mountain to climb. Although the people looking in can’t see results, internally I’ve learned a lot about life and myself.

Here are the 5 biggest lessons I’ve learned in this short amount of time.

Optimism is easy when things are going well. I’ve always considered myself a delusional optimist. I quickly realized that was because I was always comfortable. It seems obvious now that I say it out loud, but this was a big realization. It’s key to stay optimistic about life while it’s going to shit. I always go back to the quote a friend's dad told him while he was in a tough spot. “Well you can’t fail if you work 16 hours a day”. If you give life energy and effort it will give it back. It might not be right away, but staying optimistic on the end goal well in the grind is so fucking crucial.

Self belief and confidence is important, but you have to earn it. Blind confidence only goes so far. There’s going to be hard days where negativity floods your mind. At this moment you need to have proof that you can conquer hard things. I didn’t have this proof, so I got down on myself. I still do. Everytime I sleep in after staying up until 3, I look at myself in the mirror and say incredibly negative things. Doing hard things, tackling challenges immediately, and surprising myself has helped me a ton. For example, I ran a fucking 5k today. Not impressive to most, however, I’m the worst runner of all time. I always told myself I couldn’t run. I looked at that thought and decided to do something about it. Onto 10.

Outside noise is loud. I believe you put ceilings on yourself based on who you’re surrounded by. Whenever I express my goals to many around me, it’s a look of “yeah right man”. Comparison is the thief of joy, and early on I compared myself to EVERYONE, so when they thought I couldn’t do it I started to believe it also. If you’ve been around recent business graduates, you understand that mostly everyone embellishes what they do, in order to seem more impressive to those around them. This really bothered me at first, but even worse than that, it made me envious. I love when people really like their jobs, but I was surprised at how many of my close friends tried to make it seem like they were running the country. I was always good at not comparing myself to anyone, but as soon as the shadow of doubt came into my own life it’s all I wanted to do. I recognized it and I shut out the outside noise. I take advice from the incredibly small group of people I trust and the mentors I know have my best interest and that’s about it. Everyone’s on their own path, be confident in your own.

“Jack where are the shitty jokes?” I used them all with your mother tonight. Anyways, #4 is that you have to invest in learning because you don’t know shit. (I don’t mean you, I imagine you know a lot, I’m talking about me, because I do not know shit). Read books, read articles, listen to podcasts with the intention on learning because you won’t build anything with the knowledge you have now. Again, obvious. But once I set a priority to learn, man the big MO started to pick up.

Cut yourself some slack, you’re doing good kid. I’m brutally hard on myself. I know when I deserve it, but I also learned to understand when it’s okay to give myself some slack. For example I hated sleeping past 9, I shamed myself for it. But when you stay up so late, it’s okay to give yourself a few hours extra rest to recharge and get after the day. I also let myself get chipotle once every two weeks. Does it eat into the extremely stringent food budget? Yeah. But I work hard. I deserve that lavorrito.

I’m going to leave this blog with 3 quotes that I think about everyday.

“You don’t need 20 friends, you only need 3 motherf*ers to TAKE OVER a country”

- Joey Diaz

“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love”

- Jim Carrey

“Participate in life's dance with a quiet mind and an open heart.”

- Michael Singer

Regular scheduled programming will continue next week.

Cheers,

Jack “needs a win” Lavorato