Super Speed is the Best Super Power and here's why - Enacko
People ask me what superpower I’d want to have if I could choose.
It’s super speed every day of the week… it’s not even a close call. Some call me dumb, idiotic, nonsensical, and outright intolerable, but then we begin talking about this Hot Take. Super Speed can grant you a few things namely:
Saving money on Travel (no need for planes)
Walk through walls (super awesome)
Time Travel (don’t believe me? Watch the Flash)
Ability to do everything immediately
500 page book? 20 seconds (give or take)
Need to clean the house? Already done
Forget where you put the Pokémon Keychain that was your prized possession that you couldn’t find ever since that fight with your brother in ‘07, and you’re almost certain he has it but your parents didn't take your side so he got off unscathed while you were without the coolest thing you’ve ever owned and the only thing that brought you joy in this dark world? You could look for it everywhere super fast. Just saying.
Walk on water like you’re Jesus (Take that, Phelps)
No more late night Ubers
And it’s also just so freaking cool.
I’m a massive fan of the Flash and have the goal to play him in a movie one day (let a guy dream). I’ve seen all of the god awful TV shows and even used AI to generate me as the Flash.
You might think to yourself “you probably shouldn't be sharing this information, your friends might stop talking to you if they understood this strange obsession at 21 years old”. What I’d say to that is I lost my friends years ago so I’m free rolling here really not much to lose, and super speed is in fact the shit.
People most of the time claim “shapeshifting” “time travel” “flying”, go watch this scene and tell me this isn’t the dream. Also great song.
Normal life might seem mundane when I can make the world move so slow, but the blessing is worth the curse. Yes I have spent hours of my life thinking about that tradeoff and I’ll stand strong.
Jack “fastest man alive in his dreams” Lavorato
Bit of the Week
Siobhan here. At some point in time, my brother and I were conversing in emojis and I dropped “The Guy”
He’ll text me out of the blue asking for “The Guy”. This weekend I got a text from a random number asking for “The Guy”. I think it's catching on… might have to change my number.
GrrrMondays
Watch this to feel better about yourself:
While Jack makes a compelling argument in favour of super speed, I think the greatest superpower would be the ability to make anyone poop their pants at any given moment.
Want to get out of an awkward conversation? Boom. They’re out of your hair.
Game’s tied with 30 seconds left? Boom. Goalie’s got bigger fish to fry, enjoy your breakaway.
You’re enjoying a meal and your ex and their new lover are at the same restaurant? Boom. Must’ve eaten some bad fish.
Just my two cents. Thanks for reading, have a great week.
With no sincerity, Enacko